No One Does It Better
by paragirl91
Summary: This is my interpretation of a possible Stendan reunion, will be made up of a few chapters. No M rating in the first couple of chapters, but will be later on. Title inspired by the You Me At Six song which I have previously used in a Stendan fan video.
1. Chapter 1

**Still writing all my other fics but this was something that I'd promised Alys, so hunni, this one's for you ;) Will have a few chapters.**

His heart is racing a mile a minute as he looks over at the man sleeping next to him. Brendan went out like a light, as though with Ste beside him he's finally been able to sleep peacefully for the first time in years. But Ste, well Ste hasn't slept a wink.

They're in one of the new apartment blocks in town that Brendan's renting. The long corridors and plain walls remind Ste of the generic hotels that he and Brendan used to spend the night in while they were still having to hide from the world. Part of him wonders whether he'd rather be in that predicament right now, as fucked up as it sounds, even with Brendan beating him up back then, he still had a warped sense of where he stood, whereas now, now, he doesn't even know what _this_ is.

The warmth coming from Brendan's sleeping form is enticing, the sound of his heavy breathing comforting almost. Ste was beginning to forget what it felt like to share a bed, to fall asleep and wake up with the same person beside you. There'd been the odd drunken one night stands since Brendan, ones that he would cry about the next day, but he'd never let them stay the night. He made the mistake once, too tired to care, but when the lanky Scot woke him padding around the room in Brendan's dressing gown 'I was cold' he'd said, Ste kicked off with an anger he didn't even know he possessed. It was like all of the hurt and stress was suddenly pouring out of him. The guy called him a psycho and left as quickly as he could put his clothes back on. Ste slammed the door behind him, sliding down it's frame, body wracking with silent sobs. He'd hit the bottle that night, trying to think of every reason he could make it his fault that Brendan left.

Torn between the urge to run, or to curl up to Brendan and never let him go, Ste ended up sliding out of the bed, careful not to disturb the sleeping Irishman. The wooden laminate was cold on his bare feet as he walked through to the living area. It was still dark out, but the early morning light trying to break through created a sapphire glow. He didn't bother to turn the lights on, embracing the peace to be alone with his thoughts. Could he really go back there? He knew they would never quite fit in to the category of "normal" couple, but in some ways he liked that about them. Normal was boring quite frankly, and if their problems weren't destroying them, then it was only making them stronger. Last night was proof of that, he'd never felt a connection as powerful.

He'd received a phone call from Cheryl a few weeks back, informing him of Brendan's impending release. They'd both ended up crying down the phone to each other, Ste spitting out hurtful words before immediately apologising and taking them back. She didn't blame him though, no one would. She even told Ste she deserved it, for 'what I did' she'd said.

She gave him all the details, if he wanted to be there, wanted to welcome Brendan with open arms or stand there demanding answers. He chose to do neither, chose to stay at home, reading about it in the Chester Herald before ripping it in to tiny pieces. He called in sick to work the next day, Tony knew why, had read about it himself. Thankfully he knew not to probe, just let Ste know that he was there if he needed him. Putting down his mobile he crawled under the duvet, hiding from the world. It wasn't long though before he was pulling out a box from the top of the wardrobe, silent forces propelling his actions. The frame was a bit dusty now, had been years since it was on display, pride of place. Ste made marks in the dust with his thumbs, brushing it to the edge. They looked so happy, as content as they'd ever be. He found himself letting out a sigh, silent tears tracking his cheeks. He'd told him before hadn't he, that he wouldn't give up on him? He'd never given up on him if truth be told, even now. Part of him had been waiting for this moment, ever since that nightmare of a day, so why was he trying to fight it so much now? Was it his pride? There used to be a time when he thought he didn't have any left.

Photo still clutched firmly in hand he'd texted Cheryl, knew he'd be with her, I mean, he'd chosen her over him hadn't he? Of course he'd be with her.

'I think I'm ready.'

Is what the message had read, short and straight to the point. He didn't think he'd ever truly be ready for this, but she'd know what it means. That's why he wasn't surprised when the next morning he'd heard that gruff Irish voice down the phone.

He'd literally stopped breathing for a few seconds, and if the Irishman's following silence was anything to go by, Ste was sure Brendan had had the same reaction.

'I don't really know what you expect me to say.'

Ste's voice was practically a whisper, too wrung with emotion.

'Guess I could say the same' was the response he got.

'But….but I'm sorry Steven, really, really I am sorry. I love you, so so much. Jeez! I'm so sorry!'

'Steven?…..Steven you still there?'

He couldn't muster up a response, tears stinging his eyes.

'Look, I wanna see ye ok? I, I'll get the next flight to Manchester.'

After a long pause he continued, Ste had missed that voice.

'I know you probably hate me Steven and that's, that's ok, and I know I'm being selfish, after everything I've done, everything I've put you through. But I have to see you….even if it's for the last time.'

He could barely choke out those final words.

'What if I don't wanna see you aye?' Ste finally managed to reply, couldn't hide the bitterness that now laced his words.

'I expected you to react like this.'

Brendan suddenly sounded cold and detached.

'I'll still come though.'

Ste hated the burst of hope that he suddenly felt at those words, Brendan was going to fight for him, and Ste was probably going to let him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hope I didn't keep you all waiting too long for a new chapter of this, was really pleased by the comments that I had for the first installment :) Unfortunately there has ended up being no M rating in this chapter either, but I promise, once it is relevant there shall be lots and lots ;)**

Blessing and George had found him on the sofa once he'd put the phone down, beer in hand, a distant look in his eyes.

'Errmm…you alright?' George asked in that annoyingly bright tone of his.

Ste didn't answer, merely took another swig from his beer bottle and let his silence do the talking. Thankfully George had the decency to look awkward about the situation. Blessing however could not be deterred.

'This about your bloke in prison?'

Ste couldn't make eye contact.

'He's not me bloke alright…not anymore.'

'You not gonna see him then?'

He just shrugged in response.

'I bet Cheryl would love to see you.' George chipped in.

'Oh what'da you know?' Ste jumped up from his seat, barging past his two housemates who looked slightly taken aback from his sudden outburst.

It was bad enough having to live under the same roof as George anyway, the fact that he'd slept with him only a day after Brendan's arrest crippled him with guilt, let alone finding out after that he'd actually taken his virginity. Since then he'd tried to avoid him at all costs, however when it became too much living with his dad, he had no choice but to take Dennis up on his offer of a room. It was all he could afford right now. George as a housemate was an inconvenience, but he just had to try and get on with it, making sure he bumped in to him as little as possible. So now that he of all people were trying to give him advice, Ste wanted to tell him exactly where he could stick it.

He yanked the fridge open, grabbing for another beer.

'Ya know we were only tryin to help!' Blessing bellowed at him, clearly pissed off now. George just stood behind her, not really knowing who to look at.

'Well ya know what' Ste waved his bottle in her face, 'you can stick ya advice.'

He stormed off up the stairs, Blessing shouting after him about not feeling sorry for him any more.

Ste didn't want people to feel sorry for him though, he didn't want advice, he didn't want anything. Quite frankly, with the storm that was currently going on in his head he just needed to be left alone.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting here for, slumped against the wall but a knock on his bedroom door roused him from his thoughts.

'Can I come in?'

It was his dad, he silently groaned, cursing whoever had let him in the house.

'I'm not in the mood alright' he mumbled as Danny creaked the door open.

'Thought you might need some company?' Danny offered him a small smile, one that only spoke of pity.

'Do I look like I need company?'

Danny knew it wasn't actually a question that Ste needed answering, instead he lowered himself on to the floor so he could lean against the wall alongside Ste, knees drawn up to his chest.

'When did he get out?'

'Couple days ago.'

'You spoken to him?'

Ste wiped away a tear that was starting to form.

'Thought I were ready…but I dunno if I am.'

'That's ok' Danny tried to sooth him, 'no one's expecting you to rush in to anything. Most people probably wouldn't even give him another chance. You're the brave one here Ste, even just considering it.'

'We're not most people….never ave been.'

'Ste can I ask you something?' Both were staring straight ahead, not looking at each other.

Ste nodded, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his tracksuit top.

'Why did you never visit him in prison?'

'Never let me' Ste mumbled, 'thought he was doin me a favour. Wanted me to move on. If only he knew he were makin my life so much worse.'

'I found you though.' Danny turns to face him now. 'That's got to mean something right?'

'What, just so I could be part of some more lies and drama ya mean?' He didn't mean to be so spiteful, but he was hurting, and lashing out at the people he was closest to was what he did.

'Look, I didn't come here to talk about me Ste, I just wanted to make sure you're alright, but if you're going to throw it all back in my face then maybe I should go.' He pulled himself up and started turning the door handle.

'Don't.'

Ste's voice sounded childlike, even to his own ears.

'Don't go…..please.'

At that point he burst in to tears, needing the safety and comfort of his father. They hadn't had a lot of moments like this, but sometimes it was called for, natural.

* * *

Sitting on Brendan's couch in this unknown space Ste couldn't get his head straight.

Only in a pair of boxer shorts he shivered at the sudden coldness, rubbing his arms, looking out at both of their clothes strewn all over the floor. He started picking his up, the jogging bottoms and his t shirt, he'd be lying if he said he didn't momentarily pick up Brendan's shirt, bringing it to his nose and inhaling the scent that brought a thousand memories crashing around him. He needed space though, he couldn't just dive back in head first. Brendan had told him to move on, he couldn't now suddenly expect Ste to put everything on hold to run back in to his arms, even if that was exactly what he wanted to do right now.

Dressing in the dark was slightly awkward, especially when trying to be extra quiet. Once dressed, Ste tiptoed to the front door, opening and closing it as carefully as he could. Once on the other side he let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding, guilt churning away in his gut. He wiped away a tear heading down the corridor, looking for the elevator that would take him to the ground floor. As he pulled his mobile from his trouser pocket, intending to ring a taxi, a familiar voice stopped him in his tracks.

'I understand you wanna hurt me.'

Ste jumped, freezing on the spot.

'Don't do this though Steven.'

Brendan was waiting for a response now.

Ste slowly turned to face him.

'Thought it could be like old times, me sneakin out, no one knowin, hidin ya shame for ya.'

'Don't be like that.'

Ste hung his head.

'I don't know what I want.'

'Well I know what I want, and it aint just some one night stand with ye Steven. I want you, forever. Always have and always will.'

Ste snorted a laugh.

'Well that were a line and a half.'

Brendan was deadly serious though.

'You know I don't do things by halves.'

They were just stood there, staring at each other. Ste suddenly realised Brendan only had his trousers back on, his naked chest on display suddenly distracting Ste on what he was meant to be doing right now.

Brendan caught him looking, a slight smirk playing on his lips.

'If I come back in there, don't mean you've got the upper hand. Saves me money for a taxi dun't it?' His eyes were wandering whilst he lied.

'Come on Steven,' Brendan beckoned towards him, 'ye know I'd never hurt ye again.'

'I know' Ste mumbled, not quite meeting his eye.

* * *

After Danny sat cradling his son, performing a gesture that he missed out on all those years ago, Ste was able to fall in to a deep sleep that night. He assumed it was from all the drama of the day wearing him out, but maybe, just maybe, there was something in the back of his mind that was telling him he'd be seeing Brendan the next day, allowing him a comfort that he'd only dreamt of.

He still woke feeling like crap though, all the stress and crying had formed a headache, along with the worrying about the day ahead.

He managed to locate some paracetamol in a drawer and staggered downstairs for a glass of water. Luckily the house seemed empty, either that or everyone was still in bed. He was just glad he didn't have to put up with any of the awkward interactions that were sure to occur after yesterday's episode.

After swallowing a couple of tablets to ease the headache Ste could hear his mobile start ringing from upstairs. He bolted to his room before it rang off, an unknown number lighting up the screen. He knew it would be Brendan before he even answered. He hadn't bothered to put Brendan's number in to his new phone, had had to assume that he wouldn't be needing it again. That didn't mean that he didn't still have it memorised though, when you spent a portion of your life interacting with someone day in day out, things like that don't just suddenly get forgotten.

He plucked up the courage to answer, slightly out of breath from running up the stairs.

'Hi.'

'Steven.'

'You..alright?'

'Yeah, yeah I'm….my flight's landed. Thought I should let ye know, ye know….incase you'll let me see ye.'

Ste took a deep breath, kept Brendan hanging for a moment.

Brendan could hear him exhale on the other end.

'Steven?'

'Yeah, yeah I'm still here Brendan…ermm..where do ya wanna meet?'

Ste could hear the relief in Brendan's voice, knew the older man still had doubts that Ste would see this through, he obviously didn't know Ste as well as Ste thought he did.

'S'probably not best for me to show my face in Hollyoaks just yet.'

Ste made a noise of agreement, this was enough to deal with at the moment, he didn't need to add the complication of disapproving eyes of old faces, or the worry that they might bump in to his dad or sisters.

'Well, you're the food connoisseur Steven, know any good places to eat in town?'

'You wanna go to eat?'

'Well we're both gonna need food at some point today so…..'

Ste mumbled a noise of indifference down the line.

'S'gonna be weird.'

'I know it's gonna take time Steven, but I don't want ye to have to feel awkward around me, ever, ye hear that?'

'I think there's a place called Divo's, Tony keeps ravin about it. Right on the river apparently..maybe we could try there.'

'That sounds nice, I could meet ye there in an hour? Just gotta track down a taxi an that.'

'Yeah…yeah an hour, I can do that.'

'I'll see ye in an hour Steven.'

Ste could hear the smile in Brendan's voice.

Swallowing his nerves he said his goodbyes and ended the call.

He rooted around for a clean pair of trackies before scooping up his outfit for the day and heading for the bathroom. He let the showerhead spray down over his face, soaking his hair and clearing his mind, the hot water relaxing any tension.

When dried and dressed he wiped the steam from the mirror, observing the slight stubble that had formed on his upper lip. He knew that Brendan preferred him clean shaven, used to tell him that he was the only one who could pull off the stubble rash look, so without hesitation he grabbed his razor and foam, touching up the Ste that Brendan fell in love with. He didn't know why he was worrying about impressing Brendan…..well he did, just didn't want to admit it to himself. He wanted today to be on his terms though, he wanted to show Brendan that he had survived without him (barely), and that he couldn't just drop everything now to suit him. If truth be told, there wasn't really much tying him here, but Brendan didn't know that, for all he knew, Ste had moved on like he'd told him to, carved a new life for himself out of the heartbreak.

When he wiped his face with the hand towel, slapped a bit of gel in his hair, Steven Hay was the reflection that stared back at him, the Steven who would always belong to Brendan, the Steven who knew what love and happiness truly meant.

Slipping on his trainers at the front door, a nervous kind of excitement passed over him. He tried to dismiss it of course, but the familiar faces he passed on his way to the bus stop couldn't help but to notice the new found spring in his step.


End file.
